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A Writer's Den: I’m Not Only Your Mom

Thursday, September 30, 2010

I’m Not Only Your Mom

10 Things Your Kids Should Know About You

Now that my daughters are growing up, I think it’s time we had the talk. Not that talk. My girls are only 3 years and 6 months old. I get puked on daily, I go back and forth between play dates and activities to socialize them (note to self, “socializing” is another word for describing how your kids have a life, and you don’t), I read them tons of books in a very happy voice, I kiss boo boos, and I teach the girls new things by singing and dancing to ABC’s, 123’s and specially customized potty training songs. But it’s never too early for them to know, I’m not only their mom!

Here are 10 things your kids should know about you:

  1. Mommy Is Not My Real Name: I hear the word “mommy” so many times a day that I sometimes forget my own name. “Kid, my name is NOT mommy.” About 30 or so years ago, your grandma and grandpa had a baby. That baby was me, and the word “mommy” doesn’t appear anywhere on my birth certificate. Although I do enjoy you calling me mommy, at some point in your life, I need you to know that I was and still am the young lady that I was before I became your mommy.

  1. I Do Have Eyes In The Back Of My Head: This means that every time I tell you to do something, and then turn my back to walk away, and you proceed to cut and roll your eyes at me, sulking and pouting with your arms folded, I SEE YOU. 

  1. I am Psychic: I know that I’m raising you to believe in God, and there will be no black magic in this house. But it’s time I let you in on a little secret, I’m psychic. In fact, all moms are psychic. God granted me these special powers so that I could be a better mother to you. Part of me being a good mom, is preventing you from hurting yourself. So if I tell you the fire is hot, and you will most certainly get burned if you touch it, DON’T TOUCH IT. I don’t think I owe you any further explanation on this matter.

  1. I Love To Read, Write, & Dance: My dear child, before Dr. Seuss entered our home, Stephen King, Alice Walker, and Harper Lee were here. I’ve written everything from mission statements to million dollar contracts. And I may not be a great dancer, but I love to dance. When you’re old enough, and that means you have kids of your own, we will head out for a glass of wine and a night of dancing. You may ask, “Why do I have to wait until I have children?” Until then, you will not be able to appreciate the NEED for a glass of wine.

  1. You May Be Smarter, But I Will Always Be Wiser: What I learned in kindergarten, you are already learning in pre-kindergarten. Heck, you’ve already mastered using my cell phone and computer. So I will admit, you’re a smart cookie. But you will never be wiser than me because being wise comes with age. Some will dispute this. But no matter how many letters I’ve got attached to my name, I take comfort in knowing a degree has never taught me to be wiser than my mother.

  1. I Still Have Dreams: My life did not stop when you were born. I have the right to dream, to set goals, and achieve each and every one of them. So listen here kid, I will always support your dreams, but I will NEVER stop dreaming.

  1. I Don’t Negotiate With Children: The answer is a resounding NO. Again, this is another one of those things where I will not offer any further explanation. Just know that I’m the mother, and you’re the child, enough said.

  1. Not So Long Ago, I Was A Little Girl Too: I know times have changed, but the one thing we have in common is that I used to be a little girl too. So when you say it’s the end of the world, I somehow know it isn’t.

  1. A Stork Didn’t Bring You Here, I Did: When you’re old enough, we will have a conversation that many refer to as “the birds and the bees.” Right now, all you need to know is that you did not come from a stork. You were in my belly for a very long time. I gained over 40 lbs. while I was carrying both you and your sister, and there is no way I’m allowing some bird to take all the credit.

  1. Grandma Is Your Best Friend, But Someday I Will Be Your Best Friend Too: This last one is tough for me, and it actually makes me a little jealous sometimes. When I was a little girl, I adored my grandma. She was my best friend. I’m so happy your grandma is also your best friend. You need to know that our relationship will hit many bumps in the road, take a few turns for the worse, and it may get downright nasty at times. But I will always be your mother, and hopefully your best friend someday too.
My darling daughters, now that we’ve covered the basics, I saved the best for last. You should know that I LOVE YOU. And nothing will ever change that.

Moms please join me in sharing a few things your kids should know about you.

credit: AtomicSparkle © istockphoto.com/AtomicSparkle

Kludgy Mom

Week 3 Assignment: Top 10 Networking Tips for New Bloggers (0-100 Followers): B2S/B2B
1. In Pick, you can pick a topic out of last week’s Idea Bank and write about it.
2. In Practice, pick one of the above tips and put it to use this week. Blog about what you picked, what your goals are and how you’re going to meet them.

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